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SHOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME?

In the short time that I’ve been active with this blog, on Facebook, and on Twitter there have been a number of people who have reached out to me asking for advice about their marriages.

In my responses to them, I start out by telling them that I’m not a marriage counselor or a doctor, I’m just a man who has been through a bad relationship and I’m just giving them my opinion. The more I think about it though, the more I wonder if I’m characterizing myself properly in those responses.

I’ve come to realize over the years that marriage counselors and doctors are just people with opinions too. They receive their accreditation by sitting in classrooms listening to other counselors and doctors talk about their opinions for a few hours a day over a 2 to 4 year period. They hear what these other people believe are the best ways to help fix troubled marriages and they believe those others are telling them the truth. They write papers on the subject regurgitating those same opinions and they receive passing grades in their courses as a result. They then go out into the world to spread those same regurgitated “truths” in an effort to help people in troubled marriages.

I’m now pondering the question: How am I any different?

I can guarantee you that I’ve spent just as much time doing research into the best ways to fix a troubled marriage as any of those people who sat in those classrooms. I’ve also sat in front of counselors and doctors discussing those beliefs one on one for over 100 hours, and then spent months and years actively putting those ideas into practice every single day. I’ve written and re-written a book on the subject that I am now trying to get published. Over the last 17 years of my life I guarantee you that I’ve spent more time actively utilizing that information than any counselor or doctor coming out of school and even some who have been practicing for years.

I would actually go so far as to say that I may know more about this subject than many of them. Not only have I been the student, but I’ve also been the person actively trying to put their advice into practice in my own life. I’m a person who has seen and experienced the actual results of those teachings. I’m also the proof that their ideas don’t work.

All of that puts me in a unique position. Not only do I have in-depth experience with all their techniques, but after realizing those techniques don’t work, I started looking for the alternatives that they don’t even think are possible. By putting in that extra work, time, and research I have actually gone further than their typical education takes them. It’s the lessons I’ve learned through those further studies, and through the consideration of ideas they refuse to consider, that have allowed me to develop a new process that actually does work and does allow people to be perfectly happy in their marriage. I’m now the proof that my ideas do work.

It’s time for me to be the teacher.

Nobody can make an educated decision about anything if they don’t have all the relevant information to consider. The prevailing information out there today about the level of happiness you can experience in your marriage is incomplete. That’s because all the people you typically turn to for advice on this subject refuse to even consider the information that I’m trying to share with you. They are actively denying you access to that information, and in so doing, they are putting you in a position to fail.

The reason I’m doing everything that I’m doing is because I know the truth about them and what they are doing. I may just be a man in the eyes of the experts who want to discount my ideas and discredit my beliefs, but I’m also someone who has succeeded where they have all failed.

I want to help you succeed too.

Consider this…Why would you choose to take advice from experts who say a marriage without difficulties is impossible, when you can get advice here from someone who lives in a marriage without difficulties? Finding the kind of relationship that I have, or improving your own and removing constant frustrations is easier than you think.

Stay with me and I’ll show you how.